the back.

we're back together,
fixed what was broken,
made it better,
we're putting down our guns,
i've become you,
and we've become us,
walking on table-tops,
we're staring at the sun,
staring at the sun.

~

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sake_bomb

~

music
mam
dad
brother
friends
beer and, for that matter, booze
girls
waterslides
hot dogs w/ cheese and ketchup (mustard, an optional treat)
new jeans
a good face and beard wash
my laptop
heat
sweat
my ipod
my camera
the earth quake/alarm clock
hash browns
eggs
bacon
english sausages
australian beer
camping
camp fires
fires in general
fires in specific
fireworks
a good book
organization
ocd
converse (not them shoe types, although i'm re-discovering them)
birds
baxter (also poetry, and brandy)
overly green grass
climbing trees
bob marley
club sandwiches
piano music
football
art
art i can't afford
construction
coffee
confidence
waterslides
bad hair
ensue
my unibrow
marianas trench
marvin gaye
gavin degraw
japanese vendors
opinion
fact
acoustic guitars
drinking to someone else's continued success
jagermeister
jagermeister guitars
wireless everything
my family (definitely not the show)
a good handful of baby powder
a good handful of boob
flamingos
phil collins
expression
arcades
loud noise
conmen
competition
blue
orange
orange juice
pirates (thanks james)
candles
cherry blossoms
lillis
lotus flowers
koi carp
snowboarding
natural light
dental hygiene
my dog
fiji
ankle support
skinless, broken toe
a nice mustache
anything by the police
starbucks
tradition versus time
art versus science
football versus rugby
american office versus british office
golf
beating the hell out of my drum sets
milkshakes
handshakes
shoes off
cleaning my car
hot chocolate (the band and the beverage)
not tube socks
putting on weight
style
safety
family
love
home

~

i think it was wednesday morning. 7am. my eyes opened. little were they aware that they would not see sleep for another 42 hours. and counting. it's amazing how vividly you can watch your own body break down - i'm falling apart in the third person! it's comical, really. or at least it's reached that point. i got into my hotel at 9am this morning. hussed the bags down. and started cleaning myself, my belongings and my surroundings up. it is now 9.55am. the room is so spotless it seems sarcastic how clean it is.

i've been going non-stop for quite some time now. and every time i sit down for more than 5 minutes, my chest instantly gets extremely heavy and weak, and my fingers and hands begin to shake profusely. this is hysterical. this is weird. this is not me. atall. i speculate that i will most likely randomly pass out somewhere between right now and the plane-journey back to london. light sleeping doesn't count. i have 5 days and very little money on which to base this wager. i'm putting my money on 10 minutes from now. but we'll see where this takes me. in closing, i will avoid myself from dabling in some saucy self-reflection. in exchange, i hope you enjoyed the list i have composed. in furthermore..

this wide-eyed world cries a lot harder than professional sinners and cynics. i've been brought up on the fact that we'll never again have last night and we'll never again taste today's lunch. call me what you need to call me, i'm stuck in my own head and i'm laughing at you through my own eyelids. i miss you, kind self. i miss our talks. i miss your insolence and i miss your sincerity. i miss the ability to close my eyes and let you take over. to let you create. to let you conjur without the aided presence of my pathetic pre-judgement. maybe i need another (smaller) vacation. maybe i need a beer. maybe i need to go hit some golf balls. maybe i'll go egg oli's house when i'm back. how ironic. regardless. i need to rediscover what i came here for. i need to soak up my remaining days out of the box. the copacetic redundance is what makes me forget what i came here to do. the perfect repetitiveness of my busy days is what clouds my creativity like the devilish fog. i miss your songs, dear brain. and i miss you. if i had it my way, i'd paint you on the inside of my lids and sleep forever (this is not an eligible part of the wager).