the propensity and tenacity is boggling. i like boggle. not a lot, but a little. it seems like any mid-twentieth century combustion engine (and please don't think we are not too far apart). i have the ability to sustain a shade of perpetual motion that needs only to be fueled by the motivation of one's self. here in lies the crux. i am impossible. i feel like i am both a bad tooth and the dentist. no dentist operates on themselves. it is impossible. but for some reason, i fight so hard for the ability to self-prescribe and self-medicate as if i was some sort of sherlock holmes -meets- indiana jones -meets- nancy drew. (except not a teenaged girl).
the importance of people in the life of someone looking to make positive changes is priceless. i am often unable to put such a price on people of equitable importance in my life. and often also forget to let them know.
i have done a lot of taking in my few days. of friend's and family's love, patience, grace, forgiveness, etcetera. anyone's days as an "all take, no give" friend or family member may not be numbered, but truly will never be lived to their fullest. renovations and reconstruction. tongue biting is for the dishonest. and nothing makes sense of it all like a healthy measure of grace. grace. Grace grace grace.
grace - slowly.
youtube it. top tune.
