6 Days.

six days.



mum, aunt and nan packing my stuff - how eastern of me; how typical of my family.
singing sisqo with dad in the car. his fiercly accurate harmonies. heathrow. crying mother. strong father. security. the guy who propped me for staring at this mad-fly chicas with a similar air of approval. called OD. met OD. first beer - couldn't finish it. taken down a peg. thought about the previous night's "boat race". plane. guy in front only serves as an annoyance but looks like me so i can't address my anger because OD's response will be "that's because he looks like you". would have said something to the woman behind me, too - if she were male. knee in my back, coughed on my neck, had that weird croaky-deep french accent that may prove to have been german. took off. slept. woke. watched the invention of lying. watched will ferrell as george "dubyah" bush. watched sherlock holmes for actually the 5th time. realised how precise this list is. stopped it. there. promise. done. landed.

easy visa. got bags. shampoo exploded in OD's bag and went all over his clothes. OD is from now on known as "sham", carter as "satch" - i have a stupid bag. got ripped off by a taxi driver. almost got ripped off by a tuk tuk driver. got a shit room in bangkok. saw the red shirt protest bamboo and tire walls. saw some temples. saw a baby with a crow in a cage. saw our first ladyboy. ate some greasy shit. watched some muay-tai fighting. got propositioned more times than i can remember. found a mcdonalds. stayed in a floating house on the river kwai for 2 days. saw the bridge. saw a guy punching a leopard. hated it. met "the colonel" (an australian 67 year old divorcee who looked like a high authority of the KFC company.. or like your most typical white land owner). visited the POW war museum and memorial. saw too many headstones with carters from cambridge and birmingham on them. found the most "hills have eyes" village in thailand. you're cute, but i don't wanna pet you. went on death railway. walked through hellfire pass. crossed danger bridge. twice. saw a sign by land for sale with the name "HUTCH". thought about friends :) starsky got love for you.

12 hour night bus and connecting boat to koh samui. started writing a screenplay. started drawing. crazy lonely. pissed sham off for the first time. watched half an episode from the pirated family guy collection. captain of the boat tried to buy my
shoes for 400 baht. got sleeping patterns together. worked out. satch got annoyed with sham for the first time. got on the internet. missed my family. got drunk. smashed glass. cocaine. spiked drink. first night in koh samui = just fine*. had a weird bonding moment in the bathroom with sham. found out my shit don't stink.
went to the "happy bar". watched a steven segal movie. got sick of steven segal movies. watched an episode of tales from the crypt, i think. either way it equals awful. thought of my brother. messed with "a vegetated" sham. "you're doing my fucking block/case/nut/head/nog/job/edward in. worked chilled on the beach. i like you. sham got funny, wished i could remember to type or make note of every good or at least half good quote. got better at travelling. did stuff on my own. had to. stopped calling OD "sham". hoped my negativity didn't brush off on him. mini bar. drunk. broke. got some sun. met a monk. just so happens i also met a monkey. got charged for meeting the monkey. did some more stuff on my own. fetched OD a soda or something! checked the title. day is nearly up.

"my balls are purple, my poo is black.. i'm getting out the bath now so we can go to the beach. if my drink wasn't spiked last night, i don't know what was.. i tell you who i wouldn't mess with - steven segal. okay i'm out now. oh, i'm glad i look good" - OD. a direct quote.

* = reference to a blog in progress.


i absolutely should not be getting ripped for liking justin bieber by a guy who listens to metallica daily.